LIfe In The Middle

The Things That Taught Me About Being The Best I Could Be

I was on a walk recently and passed an older house with a white picket fence surrounding it. It immediately reminded me of a neighbor’s house from my childhood. Of course this got me pondering my childhood, and all the things that happened which helped me become the person I am today.

When I was about ten years old, my family went back to Nebraska for a family reunion. I remember us loading up the old jeep Willie, with five kids cramped into the back seats, and our bags tied to the top of the jeep. We drove for three days and arrived tired, dirty, and certainly ready to run and play.

There were no fast food chains along the way. When we gassed up, Dad would bring out a loaf of bread, a roll of bologna and a gallon of milk. After three days in the car, eating peanut butter and jelly or bologna sandwiches, we were more than ready for a bowl of hot soup, meatloaf, mashed potatoes and a double serving of green beans.

Mom and Dad switched back and forth with the driving, and we kids caught catnaps as we fought over who got the door, since it provided some support while you rested. Then of course just as we entered the state of Nebraska, my older brother got car sick. Being in the middle, he was able to share that curdled milk and bologna sandwich with all of us in the back. Not having a plastic bag to seal the stinky clothes in, we pulled into a park. Mom stripped us down one by one, pulled out a clean but wrinkled shirt, and jeans, and threw away the clothes we’d had on. The bad thing was the vomit smell lingered in the car for months after that trip. Yes, it was a memorable childhood experience.

I look at those experiences that shaped my life, the good ones, the bad ones, and those that were truly horrible, and can see they made me a stronger, more resilient individual. They taught me to be independent. They made me stand on my own two feet, and take the consequences for the things that I do.

I remember my sister and I rode around the neighborhood on stick horses. The best stick horses were created by the round smooth sticks our neighbor, Mrs Brown, used to make her picket fence. Over the course of the summer, Janice and I probably “borrowed” at least twelve of the sticks from her fence. It took her over a month of monitoring her fence before she caught us pulling out two sticks. She chased us back to our house and pounded on the door for my Father to come out now. I remember watching the surprise on his face turn to horror as she told him of our thievery. To my Father there was no excuse for that behavior. As Mrs. Brown stood there, he grabbed my sister, bent her over his knee and whipped her bottom. Then he repeated the experience to my own bottom. With the two of us standing there crying, he made us apologize to Mrs. Brown.

That wasn’t the end of it though. He put us in the car, drove to the feed and fencing store, bought a dozen replacement sticks and returned to Mrs. Brown’s house. He committed us to maintain her fence for the next two years. We knew better than to complain about replacing the fencing or painting, or even frowning when we were told to pull the weeds that appeared along the fence.

As time went on I actually began to understand how Mrs. Brown, who had lost her husband when she was young, felt. You see, we weren’t the only ones who appreciated those fine round sticks. Many of the boys in the neighborhood had borrowed them to make swords. Mrs. Brown was replacing about a third of her picket fence sticks every year!

I learned over time that my actions could have a direct impact on someone else’s life. I learned what it meant to make restitution for something I did. Like the other experiences life gave me, I learned and grew. I wanted to become the best that I could be. I never wanted to look into someone’s eyes and see what I saw in Mrs. Brown’s eyes.

We all have things that build us up. I learned to get along with my siblings, and how to share. I knew what it met to do an honest day’s work for an honest day’s pay. I know where my family roots originated from, and know some of my cousins and Aunts and Uncles who live in the Mid West. These are the things that connect me to others. Hopefully these examples stir up the old memories that you’ve experienced.

If they remind you that what you do and say has a direct impact on those around you, then maybe you’ll be a little more willing to do your part. Remember, your son or daughter and niece or nephew are learning about life through the things you’re exposing them to as they grow up. Make sure your children understand what is honest and moral and ethical by the things they see you do. Remind them of incidents in their lives that helped them become more generous, more sensitive, more kind, and more giving. If you do, don’t worry, like that white picket fence I saw on my walk, it will be there as if it was only yesterday, even though it was fifty years earlier. Until Later...Colleen

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Copyright 2009 Leland Pulley